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Collective_Genius
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Name: Robb
Location: Columbus, Ohio, United States
Birthday: 2/22/1988
Gender: Male
Interests: Learning.
Expertise: Voice-Overs?
Occupation: Student
Industry: Mount Vernon Nazarene Universi
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  callrobb
Member Since:
9/23/2004
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| Autumn and Skylar are coming up soon. Autumn might stay for an extended period. I hope that she will be able to. I am waiting for Victoria to finish her sculpture class. I should probably take a nap. I am learning a great deal this semester, but most of it is not class related. I am almost certain that I want to homeschool my children, that I want to travel a ton.
I really want children. I don't want sex that much, but I really really want to become a father. That is more and more the goal of my life, I am working through what issues I know about to become the best father I can be.
I have been called highly judgmental recently. I have been very discouraged, especially by MVNU lately. At the core I do appreciate it here, but there is so much that I have to basically ignore to remain focused on the good. There are too many issues for one person to manage, and the people who should be managing are unable to do so well. If I needed proof of God it would be the successes that Mount Vernon has had in the past, and continues to have.
I can see my emotional state standing on a precipice, it leans dangerously close to the depression I knew in High School. Where even my basic expression showed pain. I have a lot of good going on, and I am not ignoring my blessings, but I am still drawn tight by the contention. I really shouldn't be able to believe the same as my peers and be so extremely different in thinking. I am among Christians, isn't the issues of the heart their business and the uniting factor which brings us together. I am finding that I live among members of a defensive and often rut-stuck subculture. How does one promote initiative or creativity if they will neglect the lives they are surrounded by.
There is a higher place to go, the road that leads there is deep, dirty, frightening, ugly, and totally honest. Freud started the right way. The existentialists have it right. The heart is deep, how can people who claim to have an indwelling divinity be so willingly ignorant of their own core humanity.
I know there is another way to do this life, I am trying to find it. No one wants to join me there though. Maybe it's just the way I have been raised that makes me say things are not to be left alone. Maybe it's my security in my faith that allows me to challenge establishments. No one seems to be listening though, no one seems to be following, and very people even mention this way of living, let alone leading.
Maybe it's Daddy's fault. Maybe it's my professors. Maybe it's the friends I've had or the places I've lived. I just expect more.
I want everything from everyone. I want to give everything to everyone. I'm probably wrong, but I sure do want more of and from life than I have. | | |
| So, Java is being really slow, I am still trying to finish my homework for Cognitive Psychology. *Waits*
In the meantime, I figured I would keep up the blog by posting another entry. I know it's strange and I know I probably won't keep it up.
Jon worked in the 586 tonight, their computer has a pretty bad virus. (Not Jon's fault.)
I took a nap tonight, that was good. I am doing my laundry as well as waiting for Java.
I really want a Mac.
I am listening to NPR as I write this. Trying to stay informed, or at least cool.
I watched some of Twilight tonight. Still believe it is profane.
24 is going green apparently. | | |
| I am writing a story for Creative Writing.
I have a girlfriend. I love her.
I typed up a new weblog.
I found my Xanga. I had forgotten the password.
I got an iPod. (From the aforementioned girlfriend.) : )
I'm kind of fat lately.
I watched 24 tonight.
I just had a bad revelation about a friend.
I have a new roommate. His name is Jon.
I was angry with Jon earlier.
I am not angry with Jon now.
I have an interview with a hopeful summer job in a few weeks.
I have no sense of time while I am in college. Or direction. Or hunger. Or illness. Or weather. Or fashion. Or....
Yup. Maybe I will type up another one later. | | |
| Repression abounds, and I'm tired of it. So, I'm going to say a lot of coded things here.
I cannot stand it, I really just want to beat somebody up, and there are plenty of targets. I don't want to beat anybody up. On the one hand life is so terribly limited that theres no room to breathe, and on the other I cannot get a gasp in because of the rooms. I wanted a revolution. The two people just work so well together... when they work together. It's completely uncalled for, I won't find closure for it until I accept it and it is unacceptable. I can't walk; paralyzed by time and desire. Being weighed down, and not just by my survival pack. Extremely Restless. By no means stressless, I wish I could find a way to stress less. I keep hitting pause and no one cares. How does the world feel? Why does it matter so much?
Suppression, Repression, Projection, Displacement, Sublimation, Reaction Formation, Regression, Intellectuallization... Check Yes.
So, what's next Robb? | | |
| I'm having a really hard time. | | |
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